It is truly the little things that make a world of difference. Here are a few of the little things we did right. Some of them intentional, some of them not, but they all added up to an amazing day.
1. Spending the night before apart. It added to the anticipation and excitement. It also led to a sweet phone conversation before going to bed the night before. I also got to spend some time with my bridesmaids that day/night before. My intention was also to spend a little bit of time alone to reflect the night before, but I knocked out before that could happen because of #2.
2. My bridesmaids planned a primping day for the day before. At first I was a bit skeptical and didn’t want them to have to all shell out for spa treatments. It was, however, the best.decision.ever. We soaked and steamed before our treatments, then soaked and steamed a bit more afterward, lounged/napped, and finally took leisurely showers. I highly recommend the Burke Williams in Orange. Yes, at the Block. I, too, was skeptical of a spa at a “meh” mall at first, but it’s nicer than the other two locations I’ve tried. We were all the consistency of overcooked noodles after that, so we drove back to the hotel and promptly knocked out. No night before insomnia for me!
3. We had our rehearsal the morning before and a rehearsal lunch after. This was actually dictated by my venue’s availability, but it was great because no one had to worry about it getting too late the night before the big day. It also left the afternoon and evening free for #2.
4. I handed everything over, both physically (hundreds of pieces of various DIY projects, anyone?) and mentally, to my coordinator at the end of the rehearsal. As I handed it all over, I adopted the attitude that I had done all I could at that point, things would go the way they were going to go, and it was out of my hands and in the very capable hands of the awesome vendors I had hand picked from then on. I also committed myself to relaxing, enjoying, and being in every moment of the next day and a half. I’m a neurotic control freak worrywart perfectionist workaholic by nature [although I have gotten a lot better]. You, too, can let go and do this!
5. We didn’t overly worry about the out-of-towners and entertaining them. They are adults, and I remember there wasn’t so much emphasis on having to spoil wedding guests even a few years ago. There’s a difference between being good hosts and over-the-top spoiling guests at the expense of stressing yourself out. Entertaining OOTers can be very tiring and unknowingly stressful, even when you’re not a few days away for your wedding and no matter how fun the times and great the company. Our parents graciously hosted family from all over the world, and all our other guests found lodging and transportation with no problems on their own. We spread out spending time with them in the week leading up to the wedding, too, so that we got to see them outside of the wedding but weren’t booked solid with obligations to others in the few days before. We did casual dinners at restaurants so that no one had to expend extra energy hosting. We concentrated our efforts on getting face time with everyone at the wedding and making sure they were taken care of on the day of.
6. Skipping the receiving line, which too often gets way backed up in my opinion, and instead mingling with guests for the entire length of our cocktail hour. We did our best to stick together and at least say hello to everyone. Our guests later told us they appreciated the less formal personal time, we got to taste our mashed potato martini bar, and in an ironic twist, all that quality schmoozing helped relax us introverts before the reception.
7. Not taking dance lessons. I knew I’d never in a million years get the bear to go, I had forgotten everything from my semester of Ballroom Dance in college (I just took it for the easy peasy PE credit), and I didn’t want to spend the money on the lessons anyway. Beforehand, I was a little sad knowing we’d be doing the jr. high sway and probably look lame-o. However, because we were the opposite of worried about how well we were dancing, what we looked like, or trying to remember a routine, we were able to share a very touching few minutes and get lost in our own world together. The wedding planner teared up, guests teared up, I was crying, he wiped my tears, and we even somehow managed a dip at the end. This is all hearsay, though, as I barely remember anything except his face and the strength of the emotions washing over us during that three minutes and thirty seconds. Neither of us is usually a sap in public (we hate most PDA), but this happened to us.
[right click + view image if you really want to see how emotional we got. images 3-10, 16 copyright m. norwood photography. all other photos courtesy of my friends cee, weemo, and winnie.]
8. Not documenting the little things that went wrong in my blog or real paper journal right after the event. We feel utterly and truly blessed that nothing big went wrong, but there were the inevitable little snafus. Yes, we talked about it between us. Yes, I have regrets on things I wish I’d done differently or better. Yes, I vented to friends in person and online (I guess my chat logs are a written record, but I usually don’t reread those), but that’s where I stopped, mostly because I was too lazy to write it down somewhere. Now that about a month has passed since the big day, those little things
that annoyed me in the days and week or so after (NOT the day of
because I didn’t let myself think about or stress about them that day)
are already fading from memory.
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